Sketchtapus

I was honored to accept the commission to design a cover for a...

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 10:00:00 -0500

I was honored to accept the commission to design a cover for a never-to-be-published brochure on dysphagia.

I was so honored I vomited.

John’s cat makes me so fuckig angy, only pottery can...

Sun, 09 Jan 2011 15:33:16 -0500

John’s cat makes me so fuckig angy, only pottery can express it!!!!!

Here’s a nude portrait of my dog.

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 22:59:00 -0400

Here’s a nude portrait of my dog.

Another self portrait, done a few years back.

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 22:58:00 -0400

Another self portrait, done a few years back.

FINISHED Artist’s statement: My paintings look real good...

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 17:06:00 -0400

FINISHED

Artist’s statement: My paintings look real good from far away.

Miniature of my dog, Scud. No, he’s not named after a...

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 20:24:00 -0400

Miniature of my dog, Scud. No, he’s not named after a missile. The missile was named after him.

He and John are wearing the same outfit. How embarrassing.

Fun with #6 plastic: DID YOU KNOW the lids of some SALAD...

Sat, 10 Jul 2010 20:31:38 -0400

Fun with #6 plastic:

DID YOU KNOW the lids of some SALAD CONTAINERS are made of the same plastic as SHRINKY-DINKS?

Here’s a drawing of John screaming on #6 plastic baked for 40 seconds in a 350 degree oven in the style of a 18th century miniature. This is a prototype. I’m going to make a better one. Maybe during work tonight if I can get a hold of a salad container.

It’s so very nearly done. Some little, nagging things left...

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 02:00:08 -0400

It’s so very nearly done. Some little, nagging things left to do, but it looks great from far away.

I’m selling it for $10,000, if anyone is interested.

When you hang it up, and someone asks, “what’s that crap?” you can say “that ‘crap’ cost me 10,000 dollars.”

John has been nagging me to post things on the blog: Continuing...

Wed, 12 May 2010 11:49:00 -0400

John has been nagging me to post things on the blog:

Continuing pterodactyl painting. It looks good from far away.

I’ve given John larger pectoral muscles than he has in real life but he says I haven’t made the cheekbones prominent enough. So continuing to work on his cheekbones. John had nothing to say about the pectoral muscles.

I am painting a semi-nude self portrait of myself slaying a...

Wed, 05 May 2010 17:02:00 -0400

I am painting a semi-nude self portrait of myself slaying a pterodactyl.

Notice John in the foreground running away like a scared little boy. I’ll post again when it’s done. John says I have to post on my blog once a week and this is all I have, okay?

Dinner for one?

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 14:30:00 -0400

DIY spice rack bleachers. All you need is thin plywood, wood glue, x-acto knife, metal ruler, masking tape, polyurethane, paintbrush, googly eyes and an unwholesome sense of emptiness.

I made 2 sets so that they can sit on either side of the stove.

An easy woodworking project.

Step 1: Put googley eyes on spices. The most important step. If you only have time for one step, this is it.

Step 2: cut/glue wood together.

Step 3: Stain. Label says “Prairie Gold” seems more “Feces”

Step 4: Sand all of existing stain off.

Step 5: Apply several layers of polyurethane to bare wood for authentic

high school gymnasium look. Scratch in some graffiti about that girl you

hated and you’re done.

“Yay, Julie! WE LOVE YOU, JULIE!!!” they seem to say.